The In Between Time
by Morganperidot
Summary: This is a John and Natalie  Jolie  story that begins with Natalie and Brody as a couple and John and Natalie with unresolved feelings for one another.
1. Chapter 1

The In-Between Time

By Morganperidot

1.

"John, did you hear me?"

John looked at Natalie and saw the serious look in her eyes, and he was brought back to the current moment of the two of them standing there in the crime scene, her dressed in her forensic tech jacket and jeans, and him in his basic black shirt, jacket, and pants. Gone from his mind were the images he had been dwelling on of the two of them entangled together on his bed, the scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils as he buried his face in her luxurious red hair, kissed her neck, and slid his hands over the curves of her body. He knew that was all gone for good now. She was with Brody; the two of them were a couple. Natalie was no longer his, and she never would be again. "No," John said quietly in response to her question, looking away from her and trying to focus on something else that would ground him reality.

"If me being your forensic tech isn't working for you, I can ask for a transfer…"

"No, it's fine," John said. But then, realizing the selfishness of his quick response, he looked back at her. Even with her hair pulled back and that look of concern on her face she was still so beautiful, and it hurt to look at her and know he couldn't touch her, not then, not later, not ever. It would be the smart thing not to work with her, to keep the passion that raged inside him at that moment locked away, but he couldn't do that, he couldn't make the choice to be without her entirely. If he couldn't be with her personally he would at least be professionally. "Unless that's what you want," he said.

"No," Natalie replied. "But…"

"It's fine," John repeated, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jackets so she wouldn't see his fingers twitch like an addict going cold turkey from his drug. He looked away again. It was too difficult to look at her and still fight the need to pull her to him. It didn't matter that he understood that she was with another man; that understanding was all in his mind. His heart and the rest of his body told him he needed her, and he knew they always would.

"You're sure?" Natalie asked.

"Yes," John said. "Tell me what you found on the way back to the station." He headed toward the door, and heard her following a moment later. The clever ideas she told him about the case meshed with his own; they worked too well together for him to give that up. He would get past the rest of it, the personal part, or at least hold it at bay when she was with him. That was what he told himself, although he knew even at the surface that it was a damn lie.

2.

Natalie worked late in the forensics lab tying up the loose ends on the theories that she and John had discussed. She heard nothing more from him while she worked, and when she dropped by his office on her way out of the police station, it was dark and he was gone. It was clear he had chosen to avoid her rather than pursue any more of the awkwardness they had shared earlier in the day. Natalie sighed and made her decision quickly. She would transfer to another case and another investigator – like she had transferred to another lover and father for Liam. She shook that thought out her head and took out her car keys. It was hardly that simple where Brody was concerned. It wasn't like she had made a decision to replace John with Brody; John had taken himself out of the equation because Brody was the father of her son. John didn't want to be with the mother of another man's child or pretend Liam was his, so the best thing for all involved had been for her to try to make things work with Brody.

And Natalie was – trying that is. She was trying to look at Brody as the future – hers and Liam's. Brody was a cornerstone of their family, and the three of them were building that future together. She liked Brody, and she found that she could sometimes lose herself in her friendship with him. But that was all it really was – a friendship with benefits, one that did nothing to fill the emptiness in her soul that always found its way back to haunting her. What she saw most in Brody was the absence of John: John's eyes, his smile, his voice, his warm body next to hers. There was no substitute for John, and there never would be.

So Natalie had tried to hang on to working with John, thinking that maybe they could find an equilibrium at which they could work together. But today had simply proved again that was not to be, and she knew she had to recognize it. John had shown that he wasn't going to be the one to make steps toward fixing this situation, so Natalie knew she would have to do it herself. She would have to let go of him completely.

That thought sent a little ache through her heart where she knew it would always be broken. She sighed again and looked briefly at John's office. She was eager to get home to Liam, but she knew this had to be handled today, face to face, so she could start things fresh in the morning. She would tell John tonight, and that would be the end of it – the end of them – for good.

3.

In his apartment John turned on some music and sat on the sofa, closing his eyes and trying to empty his mind of the images that fought so hard to drag him down. He could feel the depression threatening to close in on him and crush him, and he was only barely holding it off. And his desire to fight was weakening with every sip of beer and tick of the clock.

After all, there was no longer any purpose to that fight. John knew he was a good cop, and the work he did was important. But he also knew that there were other good cops who could do the same. His job wasn't enough to dispel the heavy darkness in his heart. The light that had brightened that cave – the two lights now – were gone forever. They belonged to someone else, another man, who would be holding the baby who should have been John's child and the woman who should have been John's wife. John had lost Natalie numerous times; she had married other men, and he had moved on with other women. Yet none of those circumstance had left him feeling so utterly destroyed. There had always been the possibility of reconciliation then, even if he hadn't thought he would ever want it. Now though, now there was Liam – Brody's child, not John's – who would forever keep him and Natalie apart. And it was that fact above all, the fact that the child who he still loved was the eternal wedge between them, that tore him apart in a way that could never be properly mended.

John heard the knocking on the door, but he ignored it. He didn't want to move or talk to anyone. It persisted though, and the mechanisms inside of him still functioned enough to recognize urgency. He opened his eyes and stood up, waiting a moment longer to see if the knocking would stop. When it didn't, he went to the door and opened it.

He almost laughed when he saw Natalie standing there in a bright blue low-cut blouse like some cruel trick of fate conjured to deepen his torment. "Why are you here?" he asked.

"We need to talk," she said. After a pause she added, "Are you OK?"

"Tired," John said, straightening his wrinkled black shirt a bit, as though that was what she was referring to. "Can we do this in the morning?" he asked.

"No," Natalie said. "May I come in?"

John smiled then, though entirely humorlessly. The irony of the situation, of her asking if she could come into the place where they had not so long ago brought home their child, where they had slept together, ate together, lived together – that irony wasn't lost on him. "Yes," he said softly.

Once inside he saw her stop and look at the empty beer bottles he had lined up on a table. He didn't explain, just closed the door and waited. Part of him wanted to ask if Liam was OK, but he silenced that. It wasn't his business anymore.

Natalie looked at him. "This isn't working," she said.

"What?" John asked quietly, seeing metaphorically in his mind the several feet of space between them as a giant chasm. He wanted this over and her gone; he didn't want to feel the passion stirring inside of him again, the need to touch what he couldn't, to be reminded of what was no longer his.

"The two of us doing cases together," Natalie said. "I can tell that it's upsetting you, and I don't want to be the cause of that anymore. I'm going to put in the transfer tomorrow. It's the right thing to do."

"No," John said quietly, surprising both of them with the sudden certainty of his reply.

Natalie hesitated for a moment, but then she said, "I'm just a distraction to you, and…"

"Why did you come here?" John asked. The social fabric he had functioned within was crumbling around him. He couldn't pretend; he didn't even want to. It was too late for all of that. "You could have called," he said. "You could have sent a text."

He saw hurt blossom in Natalie's eyes, and he shoved his twitching fingers painfully into his pants pockets. "So I was right about this," she said. "We can't talk much less work together." She stepped past him toward the door.

"What did you expect?" John asked, and he heard his pain twisting around the question like barbed wire.

She looked at him. "I thought maybe you were past the anger," Natalie said. "I thought we could at least function together in…"

"This isn't anger," John said. He needed to get it out now, all of it, the poison in his blood that was eating away at him. Maybe if he said it out loud it would go away.

"Then what is it, John?" Natalie asked. Her eyes were glistening now. He knew he should stop; he knew that stopping was the only road he could take that wouldn't explode everything between them. But there was no them anymore, and he couldn't stop anyway. He knew he had to say it.

John looked away and slid a hand through his hair and let out the breath he had been holding. "Love," he said finally.

There was a long moment of silence during which he wouldn't have been surprised if the entire building collapsed. But instead nothing happened at all. John turned and looked at Natalie and saw the single tear that had slid down her cheek. "What?" she said.

John froze for a moment as he held her gaze, not sure whether he should step forward into the path of the oncoming train or fall back into the bottomless pit. As a Fed and a cop he knew it was best to do whatever kept you alive the longest. In this situation, though, it was probably the smartest thing to do what ended the situation the quickest, and that, he assumed, was to tell the truth. "I still love you," he said. "And I still love Liam. I don't want you to disappear from my life…"

"You told me it was over…"

"It is over," John said. "You have a child with Brody…"

"You still love me?" Natalie said as though she hadn't heard the mention of her current lover, and John was surprised to see her pain change to fury. "You still love Liam? How can you say these things to me now?"

John's tried to respond, but nothing gelled into coherent thoughts. "You're with Brody," he said finally.

"I wanted to be with you!" Natalie said.

"Liam…"

"I wanted to raise him with you," Natalie said. "I wanted a family with you. And now after you pushed me away and I settled for Brody, destroying my relationship with Jessica even more, now you tell me that you still love us. Damn you." She stormed over to the door.

"Don't go to him," John said.

"You are the one who pushed me at him!" Natalie said. "You pushed me into bed with him; you made this choice."

"No," John said, but she pulled the door open, and he moved quickly, slamming it shut with her still inside between him and the door. "You're not going to go from me to him," he said.

4.

Natalie could barely breathe between her own hot anger and him pressing her against the door. The sensation of his body against hers after so long was scattering her thoughts. "Move," she said, trying to push back against him, but he was like a wall.

"No," John said again, and his hands touched her, making her body tremble. "Stay," he said.

"Liam needs me…"

"I need you," John said. He released her briefly and spun her around so her back was against the door. "Answer one question for me, and I'll let you go."

He had taken a step back but he still held her wrists firmly to the door. Natalie wasn't resisting him; she had no desire to. Her desires were instead making themselves well known elsewhere. "OK," she said.

John pressed against her, and brought his soft lips to her ear. Natalie closed her eyes and relaxed against the door. This all felt like a dream or a lapse into insanity – had she died in the car or lost her mind? None of this could be happening. It couldn't be real, his body, his lips, her John… "Brody or me?" he whispered into her ear, sending shivers through her body.

There were a million interpretations Natalie could give to the question being asked in those three words, but there was only one answer to all of them. "You," she said. John moved back a bit and looked in her eyes; she held his gaze. "Let go," she said, and he released her wrists. The moment her hands were free she dug them into his hair and brought his head forward until their lips could mash together in a brutal, sloppy kiss. She wrapped one of her legs around him like a cobra, crushing him to her. "Now," she said.

John didn't say anything else; he just took her hand and led her the short distance to the bedroom, where they undid buttons and zippers, and pulled off clothes. Natalie admired the familiar beauty of his body, eager to feel it respond to her touch. There were so many questions that would need answers, but that was for later. Now was for reconnecting, she and John, and Natalie smiled as they tumbled onto the bed together.


	2. Chapter 2

The In-Between Time: Part 2

By Morganperidot

1.

Natalie was curled up beside John on his bed, which had been their bed when they were a couple. Although it was so natural, it was still a strange thing to be there with him now, when not so long ago she had told John that she was together with Brody. But strange as it was, there was no question it was the right thing. John was the right man for her, the one who always would be in Natalie's heart.

"Are you going to answer that?" John asked. His arm was wrapped around her, and he spoke quietly into her hair.

"It's Brody," Natalie said, continuing to lie there as the phone finally fell silent.

"I know," John replied. He kissed her head. "We have to fix this," he said.

"Not on the phone," Natalie said. She moved away from John reluctantly. "I have to talk to him and explain things. I made promises to Brody and…"

"You made promises to me first," John said, "a long time before Brody Lovett ever came to Llanview."

Natalie smiled. "Are you suggesting I owe you something?" she teased.

John returned her smile. "I'll have what's mine," he said softly, and the words sent shivers of pleasure through her. Natalie leaned over him and kissed him gently but fully, only to have the kiss interrupted by the ringer on her phone sounding off once more.

"It could be about Liam," John said seriously.

Frustrated, Natalie got off the bed. "It's not," she said. "Brody tries to keep track of me. I'm sure he thinks there is the possibility of … _this_ happening."

"This," John said.

"Yes," Natalie said.

"Seems very likely it could," John said.

"It's not funny," Natalie said, dressing quickly before going into the other room to retrieve her cell phone.

"No, funny isn't the right word for it, that's for sure," John called after her.

By the time Natalie had found her cell phone buried at the bottom of her purse, it had stopped ringing again, so she punched in Brody's number. She told him that she had lost track of time at work and would be coming home soon. She asked about Liam, and Brody told her he was fine. Natalie said good-bye and ended the call, dropping the phone back into her purse.

She turned and saw John in the doorway to the bedroom dressed only in his jeans. Natalie wanted so much to touch his bare chest and the rest of him all over again. "So this is work," he said.

"This is ours alone until I can explain it to Brody," Natalie said. "I can't just drop a bomb on him after…"

"You dropped some big ones on me," John said.

"I never wanted to hurt you," Natalie said.

"Lies hurt," John said.

"I know," Natalie said, "but I…"

"That's over now," John said, and Natalie could see that he meant it. "There's no point in going over it again." He came closer to her. "Do you want something to eat before you go?" he asked.

"I can have something at Llanfair," Natalie said, although she wanted to accept the not-so-subtle invitation to stay longer. "I need to get back to Liam," she said.

"I want to see him soon," John said.

"You know you can, whenever you want," Natalie said.

They were both silent for several seconds, and then John said, "I know it's hypocritical, but I can't have you being with him."

"You can't tell me what..."

"I know," John said. "I'm just saying this, because it should be said. I won't have him touching you like I did tonight."

"He couldn't," Natalie said. She looked at her watch; it was very late. "I have to go," she said.

"Do you want me to go with you?" John asked.

Natalie shook her head. "We need to talk to Brody, but not now," she said.

"Don't tell him about this without me there," John said. "There's no way to know how he'll react."

"He…"

"I mean it," John said seriously.

"OK," Natalie said, knowing he was overreacting. Brody was a good guy; it wasn't like finding out that she was going back with John would be the shock that sent him over the edge or something. Natalie and John shared a long, passionate goodnight kiss that had her aching to stay with him once more, before she finally tore herself away and left.

Back at Llanfair, Natalie checked on Liam and then had a small snack in the kitchen before going up to the room she shared with Brody. He was asleep on the bed, and she just stood there for a moment looking at him, knowing that she would never be with him again the way they briefly had been. It was no real loss to her; he was a likeable, average man, but there was no question that he paled quite a bit next to John. The idea of Brody touching her now made her skin crawl. She didn't even want to get into bed next to him to sleep. Instead she went back to the nursery where she slept in a chair by Liam and dreamed of John.

Natalie woke the next morning to the sound of Liam's hungry cries, and she fed him before going to shower. When she re-emerged dressed in a towel, she found Brody waiting for her. "Where were you last night?" he asked.

"I told you on the phone," Natalie said. She didn't like the idea of dressing in front of Brody now, although there was nothing he hadn't already seen. "Can you do me a favor and…"

"Was John there?" Brody asked.

"John works there," Natalie said, trying to remain calm. "We all work there, remember?"

"Our son needed you here," Brody said.

"He was fine," Natalie said. Brody was standing in front of her closet. "I need to get ready for work," she said.

"So you can go back to him," Brody said.

"What is this?" Natalie said. "Why are you suddenly so obsessed with John?"

"You were with him last night," Brody said. "Did you kiss him? Did you…"

"Stop it," Natalie said. She tried to push him aside so she could get into the closet. "I'm going to be late."

Brody grabbed her suddenly, his hands locking tightly on her arms. "Do you think you can play these games with John behind my back?" he growled in a voice she almost didn't recognize.

"Let go of me," Natalie said, trying to pull out of his grip. The look in his eyes had changed to something distant and fierce, and fear was starting to drip into her blood and pluck at her nerves.

"You're with me," Brody said, "and you are staying here with me."

"No one tells me what to do," Natalie said. She finally worked her way out of Brody's hold, but the moment she stepped toward the door he grabbed her again and threw her at the bed. Shocked and unable to stop the momentum, she bounced off the side of the bed and fell into a bureau, hitting her head and collapsing on the floor. She heard Brody's voice as if at a great distance though he still had to be in the same room. "John may be Liam's father," he said. "But he is never taking my family."

Confused and in great pain, Natalie whispered, "John," and then the world went black.

2.

John looked up from his desk in his office at the police station. Great, he thought, now he was imagining things. He wasn't imagining that Natalie was late though, and that bothered him. Something was wrong. His cop instincts were going off, and that bothered him even more. He took out his cell and punched in her number; there was no answer.

"Damn it," he said.

"Everything OK?" a familiar voice asked. John looked up and saw one of detectives – Roberts – standing there. He was a young man with short blond hair and blue eyes overdressed in what looked like business casual. The man was thin and wiry; he looked like and runner, and John seemed to remember something about him training for a marathon or being in one.

"Is there something you need?" John asked.

"I was wondering if I could bounce some ideas off you for a case I've got," Roberts said.

"Go ahead," John said, and he spent several minutes discussing the case. Roberts had some interesting leads, but he hadn't really thought them through. John tried to point him in some more helpful directions. At the same time he kept glancing toward the hallway and not seeing Natalie. Where the hell was she? "I have to make a call," he said finally, as the alarm bells in his mind were drowning out his conversation with Roberts.

When Roberts was gone John found Viki's number and dialed it, getting an answer on the fourth ring. "It's John," he said without any preamble. "I'm trying to reach Natalie."

"Oh, John, she's in the hospital," Viki said. "She been hurt – we don't really know what happened. We can't reach Brody, and Liam is gone."

John processed all of this instantaneously; he had no doubt about what had happened. "How is she?" John asked.

"She hit her head, and she's unconscious," Viki said. "There don't seem to be any other injuries aside from some bruises."

John felt his anger flare white hot, but he kept his voice under control. "Let me know when she wakes up," he said, keeping the words emotionless. "I'll find Liam."

"I will, John," Viki said. "Thank you."

John had never really understood the origin of the term "seeing red", but at that moment he could figuratively see blood – Brody's – which was close enough. He made a few phone calls to get some uniformed units out, and went himself to one of the places he had sent a unit – Llanfair.

He had a troubling sensation as soon as he entered Natalie's bedroom; there was an off-kilter, dangerous vibe that hung heavily in the air. He looked at the bed and then the bureau and saw how it had happened, then moved closer to see the blood stain on the bureau. He didn't hesitate any further in putting out an APB on Brody Lovett as armed and dangerous, but to be taken alive. He made it clear the Brody had already assaulted a member of the department and that he would mostly likely have a baby with him, so all care had to be taken.

Next, John went to Brody's old apartment, but it was cleared out. He found no signs of anyone being there recently.

As he got back to his car his cell phone rang. Viki told him that Natalie was awake and had said his name; John told her would be there as soon as he could. He drove to the hospital and tried to think of places Brody would take Liam. As a result, he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings when he stepped out of the car in the emergency department parking lot.

"Don't move, or you will die right on this spot," Brody said. John felt the gun pressed lengthwise against his neck, the barrel pointed at his head. He used his anger to keep out the fear that fought to surface. Brody took his gun. "The best defense is a good offense," Brody said. "I am the only one who knows where Liam is, so you would be wise to do exactly what I tell you to do. Now walk."

John cleared from his mind of everything other than the survival training he had received as a Fed. He remembered that the number one thing to focus on when put in a life-and-death situation was to survive; taking down the enemy was a distant second. If you can run and get away, run. If you can't run, find a distraction and then run. If you can't do that, fight. And if you can't fight, find that moment when you can manipulate the situation and then fight. During training, John hadn't been entirely certain that such a moment would always present itself, but now when given the choice of finding it or having a bullet fired into his brain, he knew it would.

Brody took him to the roof of the hospital and then ordered him down on his knees. John looked across the empty roof at the sky; it was clear, and the sun was bright. He knew plenty of men had died on an average day under a sky like that. Brody stood behind him, most likely preparing for the kill shot. John thought the word – "execution" – and followed the path of the bullet in his mind. He felt the edge of the panic as it rose to meet the certainty of death, and he knew if he gave in to it there would be no moment for him to take control. He would die on his knees in front of the man who had hit Natalie and taken her child.

"How does it feel, John?" Brody said. "How does it feel to know you've failed?"

John closed his eyes and concentrated on the pressure of the gun and where Brody was standing. The moment will come, he thought. It has to come.

"Are you afraid?" Brody said.

"Yes," John said, but he wasn't. He could feel his adrenaline rising.

"You deserve that," Brody said, "to die like a weakling and a coward. And you deserve one thing more, to die with the knowledge of what I've been keeping from you."

And in that moment, as Brody prepared to deliver on his taunt, John felt his opportunity, grabbing the gun with one hand and striking out with the side of his hand against Brody's leg with the other, connecting with a sharp chop that elicited a wail from Brody as the gun discharged a few inches from John's head. John was on his feet and fighting, mindful of both Brody's gun and his that Brody had taken. Brody's fighting skills were excellent, but John had a few tricks that the government saved for its undercover Feds. John was finally able to land a blow that incapacitated Brody enough for him to take the guns. "Where is Liam?" John asked.

"He's mine," Brody said. "You are never going to get him."

John put his hand on Brody's throat and squeezed enough to shut off his air; he saw the panic on Brody's face. "Where is he?" John said, as Brody's face turned colors, he tried to fight against death. "I will kill you," John said darkly. "And I will do with my own hands. Not for what you did here but for what you did to Natalie at Llanfair. And the only thing that might save your life is to tell me where that child is with this next breath. Because if you don't, I promise that breath will be your last." John released his grip slightly. Brody's lips moved soundlessly for a moment and then he finally got out the word "car". John kept his grip on Brody's throat and used his free hand to call an officer to find and check out the car. When John heard that Liam was safe, he finally released Brody's throat and cuffed him, before turning him over to two officers. It was only after the three of them were gone for more than a minute that John allowed himself to drop his guard and briefly face the fact that he had almost died.

3.

Natalie was worried about John and Liam. The Brody she had seen – the one who had thrown her across the room – was a complete stranger. She didn't know what he was capable of. She didn't think he would hurt Liam, but all bets were off when it came to John. His jealousy of John had appeared to be psychotic.

It troubled Natalie that John hadn't shown up after telling her mother he was on his way. Where was he? If she didn't have the killer headache of the century she would have gotten out of bed to look for both of her guys. But as it was, she doubted she would make it out of the room.

When Natalie heard voices in the hallway she looked over at the door to her hospital room. She finally relaxed when she saw John appear there and then walk into the room – until she got a good look at him. "What happened to you?" she asked, taking in his dirty clothes, messy hair, cuts, and bruises.

"Brody," John said.

"He…"

"Later," John said. "Liam is fine."

"Thank God," Natalie said. "Are you?"

"Yeah," John said. "I am now." He touched her face gently with his fingertips. "How the did this happen?" he asked.

Natalie sighed. "Brody just knew," she said, "and he went nuts. I tried to talk around it, but he wasn't listening. He was just so angry about you."

"He shouldn't have put his hands on you," John said.

"Did you…"

"He's in custody," John said. "But I came damn close. I let him know what it feels like." John leaned over and kissed her lips lightly. "How are you?" he asked.

"My head hurts, but I'm OK," Natalie said. "I need to tell you something he said."

"I don't need to know anything from him," John said. "You should rest."

"Just listen, OK?" Natalie said.

"OK," John said, and he smiled.

"I may have misheard him, or maybe I'm remembering it wrong, but it seemed to me that he said something about you being Liam's father but…" Natalie had a sudden flash of memory, sitting with Liam and listening to Marty's tape. She remembered hearing the words: Natalie didn't have Brody's baby; she had John's. And Brody had the tape recorder, the one Gigi had with her the last day of her life. "Oh my God," she said, looking into to John's stunned eyes. "It's true, Liam is your son!"


	3. Chapter 3

The In-Between Time: Part 3

By Morganperidot

1.

John looked at Natalie in stunned silence for a moment, and then he said, "Why would you say that?" Lying on the hospital bed where Brody had put her after throwing her across her room at Llanfair, she had suddenly told John that Liam was his son.

"I just remembered," Natalie said smiling, her eyes shining, one of her hands grasping his. "I remembered what was on the tape. It was Marty's session with her psychiatrist. She said that she had changed the DNA test, and you are really Liam's father! Oh my God, John this is amazing. It's really true!" She reached for him and pulled him into a hug.

Shocked to have this come around again, John didn't know what to say. He didn't think Natalie was making it up this time, but she had just taken a blow to the head and might not be thinking straight. "You just remembered that now?" he said.

Natalie pulled away from him, and John saw the light fade from her eyes. "You don't believe me?" she said. "Brody said it too, that you are Liam's father."

John heard her certainty, and part of him wanted to just believe this so easily too – but he was a detective, and he couldn't. "It's just hard for me to…"

"Do you think I would just make it up out of the blue that I was laying on the floor after Brody threw me across the room and heard him say…"

"I'm sure you heard him say something," John said, "but you were stunned after hitting the bureau, and you may just have interpreted it to be something that you wanted to hear."

Natalie pushed John away. "Get out of here," she said.

"Natalie, look, I know you are telling me something that you think might be true…"

"It is true," Natalie said. "Part of me always knew it was, and that was the part that couldn't tell you the 'truth' that Brody was Liam's father." John was silent, trying to figure this out. "Maybe this isn't what you want," she said. "Maybe you're just happy that Liam turned out to be someone else's kid so you didn't have to settle down and be a father."

John set aside the anger that wanted to flare up in him. "That isn't true," he said. "I wanted to marry you and be a family with Liam. You know that. But it's a little far fetched for me to just suddenly believe that Marty changed the DNA results…"

"So you would still defend her over me and your son?" Natalie said. "What kind of a man are you? Maybe I don't really know you at all."

"If you don't then no one does," John said. He stood there for a moment looking at the door. If he left, then what would happen? Would they be done? Was this how it was going to end between them again, over Liam's paternity? He looked back at Natalie. "What do you want me to do?" he asked.

"I can't tell you what to do, John," Natalie said. "But it seems like you still need to work some things out if we are going to be together." She sighed. "I need to rest. Make sure my mother gets Liam." She turned away from him.

"I will," John said. He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"Is everything OK?" Viki asked. She had been waiting out in the hospital hallway.

"Yeah," John said. "Look, I need to take Liam somewhere. Would that be all right?"

"Of course," Viki said. "Is he OK? He wasn't hurt was…"

"No, he's fine," John said. He knew he had to get another DNA test done, and he was surprised to feel the beginning of hope blossoming inside of him again, that same hope he had felt when he had realized that Natalie still loved him. Was it really possible that after all of this Liam could be his actual biological son, and the three of them could still have their family? It almost seemed like there was some momentary rip in the time-space continuum, and he would be able find a way back to the beginning, before all of the lies, pain, and stupidity with Kelly and Brody. It was like he could find his way back to how things were meant to be. All he had to do was have that DNA test done that would show him the really true truth after all, that Liam was his son, and everything would all magically make sense. John didn't really believe that, but he had seen the certainty on Natalie's face and felt her disappointment in him when he had rejected the possibility. He at least owed her a definitive answer to this question; they would never really move on with their lives without it. "There's something I have to do for Natalie," John told Viki. "I'll bring Liam to Llanfair when we're done."

2.

When she was finally given the OK to leave the hospital, Natalie dressed in a green t-shirt and jeans that she had asked her mother to bring and went out into the hallway. Viki was there waiting for her, but John was nowhere to be seen. Not that Natalie was really in the mood to talk with him anyway – he had shown clearly that he still didn't trust her, especially as far as information about Liam was concerned. "I need to pick up Liam," she said to Viki.

"He's with John," Viki said. "John said he had to do something for you."

"Something for…" Natalie stopped. That had to mean that he was getting another DNA test done, even though he didn't really believe it was possible he was Liam's father. She didn't know how to feel about that.

"Do you want to talk?" Viki asked.

"In a little while," Natalie said. "Right now I just want to get something to eat." Like a pizza shared with John on his bed while drinking ice cold beer, she thought. "After that though, there's a lot to discuss."

"I figured that," Viki said, and the two of them left the hospital to find a place to eat.

3.

John called his brother Michael and got the names of a couple good clinics just outside of Llanview, then called in a couple favors with the local police in those areas that got him seen at the clinics as soon as he walked in the door with Liam. He had blood samples taken from both of them at both locations, to be sent to two different laboratories. He wanted this to be the end of it. Three tests should be enough to prove who Liam's father was.

John understood why Natalie was angry with him, but as much as he wanted it deep in his heart, he couldn't just accept without solid proof that Liam was his son. There was too much history of heartache there. He did believe that Natalie believed it or had convinced herself that it was true. But for John the possible loopholes were as big as canyons, and he couldn't make the leap of faith. Still, walking out of that clinic holding Liam, John felt the same connection with him that he had from the beginning, that bond of love and family that went beyond what any computer or piece of paper could ever say.

John looked into Liam's eyes and thought: Are you mine? Liam smiled, and John's heart swelled. He kissed the top of Liam's head. "I love you," he said. "No matter what this all comes out to be, I will always love you." He held Liam close for a moment and closed his eyes. Part of me will always think of you as my son, he thought, no matter whose DNA you have.

4.

All through her meal at the restaurant with Viki, Natalie thought about John taking Liam for the blood test that would finally give him the proof that he needed to believe he was Liam's father. She understood that he needed that proof; she had lied to him before about the same thing, and he was a cop who relied on solid evidence to make a case. But it still bothered her that he hadn't had the faith in her to believe what she told him, especially now after they had finally found their way back to each other.

"So tell me what's going on," Viki said, "since you clearly aren't that hungry after all."

"I am," Natalie said, but she had been randomly picking at her pizza since they got it.

"Is that why you haven't finished one slice?" Viki said. "What's going on with you and John?"

Natalie looked at her. "Getting right to the point, huh?" she said.

"Where do you think you got it from?" Viki asked. "Your father isn't the only straightforward one."

Natalie smiled. "I know," she said. She looked away for a moment at a happy couple cuddling in a booth. "John and I…we sort of reunited," she said.

"Sort of," Viki said.

"Well, we said and did all the things we needed to say and do," Natalie said, looking back at her mother. "But he still doesn't trust me completely."

"He loves you," Viki said. "I saw that today when he was at the hospital."

"I don't doubt that," Natalie said. "And I love him. But if he can't trust me, what kind of relationship can we have?"

"You need to give him some more time," Viki said. "That's also part of what love is about, patience. He's made great strides just getting to where he is now, after everything that happened." She took a bite of pizza. "So I assume this is what Brody got so upset about?" she asked.

"Yes," Natalie said. "I didn't tell him, but he knew I was with John. He was just so jealous of John. And Brody knew things that he didn't tell me because he wanted to be one up on John. It was just a terrible thing."

"Do you want to tell me what he knew?" Viki asked.

"Not right now," Natalie said. "That's what John is doing for me, taking care of something that he doesn't really believe is relevant. When it's all finally resolved you and I can talk about it."

"Since it has to do with John and Liam," Viki said. "I have a feeling I know what it is."

"I'm sure you do," Natalie said, "but I don't want to talk about it until I have all of the answers."

"However you want to handle it," Viki said. "My only advice is give John a little more time. I know you feel like it's already been a long time, and that's true. But he lost a lot, and he is finally reconnecting. Let him do it at his own pace."

"I'll try," Natalie said, but she knew that patience was rarely one of her stronger traits.

5.

When John knocked on the door at Llanfair, Natalie was the one who opened it. She looked worn out but still beautiful, and he felt the anger about what Brody had done to her curdle inside of him again. Part of him wished he had ended Brody's life on that hospital roof; after nearly losing his own life by a bullet in the back of the head, there would be little inquiry into Brody's death. But despite his personal feelings and his hands crushing Brody's windpipe, John had refrained from killing him. Stopping had technically been the "right" thing to do – John knew that – but he was unsatisfied with it, and seeing Natalie's tired face made him even more so. "Special delivery," he said, holding out Liam to his mother.

Natalie received Liam there in the doorway and held him close, cooing to him for a moment before looking back at John. "Thank you so much for making sure he was safe," she said.

"I would never let anything happen to this guy," John said quietly, noticing that despite his happiness in his mother's arms, Liam was still holding out a hand toward him. John reached out for that hand and played a bit with the little fingers.

There was a silent moment, and then Natalie said, "Do you have a few minutes to come inside?"

John understood the phrasing of the question; it left him an out to say that he was too busy with whatever case he had at work and didn't have time for socializing. He could bail out of the confrontation over what had happened at the hospital; he could run away from his feelings like he had so many times over the years. John looked in Liam's shining eyes, and then at his tiny fingers that were curled around one of John's big ones. "Yeah," John said. "I have some time."

Natalie stepped aside, and John walked into her family's mansion. He always felt somewhat awkward there, not insecure as much as "unsecure", like the space was too big to control. "I'll take Liam upstairs," Natalie said. "You can go in the library if you want."

"Thanks," John said. He opened the double doors and walked into the library. There were a lot of memories for him there, mostly good ones. He ran a hand through his hair and looked out the glass doors at the backyard. He wondered what it was like to have so much money. And John wondered if he would be able to give Liam everything he needed – whether or not Liam was biologically his son.

John heard footsteps, and then turned to see Natalie close the doors. "He went right to sleep," she said.

"I must have worn him out," John said. "I'm sorry about that. I wound up taking him two clinics … just to be sure." He watched Natalie fold into a chair. "How are you?" he asked.

"OK," Natalie said. "I still have a headache, and I'm tired."

"Have you eaten?" John asked.

"I went out with my mom but wasn't that hungry," Natalie said. She smiled. "You can sit down," she said, "unless you need to go." John sat down on a chair next to her. "I know you don't want to talk about this…"

"It's OK," John said.

"I just…I thought we were past the distrust," Natalie said.

"We are," John replied. He leaned back against the chair, but it wasn't very comfortable.

"If we were you wouldn't have just dismissed…"

"I've accepted that Brody is Liam's father," John said. "I hate it, but I have. I can get past that. This all just feels like going backward, trying to find something that isn't there. I've done that in plenty of cases; I've know the feeling. It's like you want to believe that you missed something, even if you didn't. You just want so badly for that missing thing to be there."

"It isn't just that I want you to be Liam's father," Natalie said. "What was on the tape and what Brody said are proof that is true."

"You hit your head…"

"I remember both things clearly, John," Natalie said. "If you don't believe me that is your thing. Don't try to convince me that I don't really remember what I do remember."

John saw the certainty in her demeanor again, and he wasn't going to fight it, especially not now. "OK, let's say all that is true," John said. "You're talking about comments from two unstable individuals with agendas. There is no way of knowing if what they said is true." Natalie looked away from him. "You know what I want, Natalie," he said. "If there is something out that would make Liam my son, I would do anything to find it. I just don't want either of us to be hurt the way we were before."

Natalie looked back at him. "I've never known you to be afraid," she said quietly.

John felt the words sink right down to his core. He wanted to deny it, but he couldn't, not about this. "You're right," he said. "I am. I can't let myself believe this. I can't lose Liam like that again."

"You won't," Natalie said.

"Natalie…"

"OK," she said. "I get it." Natalie closed her eyes and sighed.

"I should let you rest," John said.

She looked at him. "I don't want you to go," Natalie said.

"I'll be back," John said with a slight smile.

"I'm serious," Natalie said.

John could see that she was. "So am I," he said. "You need to lie down. I will…"

"Come upstairs with me," Natalie said.

John felt his body respond to the words, a mixture of primal need and modern desire. "I don't think…"

"I promise I won't take advantage of you," Natalie said.

John smiled. "I'm not so sure I believe that," he replied. "But you should get some sleep."

"I will," Natalie said. "I just want you with me."

John hesitated for a moment longer, but he couldn't reject the pull of the moment. "OK," he said. Natalie stood up and offered him her hand. He took gentle hold of it and followed her out of the library and up the stairs to the nursery, where they checked on Liam before going to Natalie's room. Though it was cleaned now, John still saw a flash of the crime scene he had investigated not so long ago, where Brody had thrown Natalie against the bed. He stood there for a moment and stared.

"The bedclothes have been changed," Natalie said. "I'm sorry if … it bothers you here."

Bedclothes? John thought. But then he understood. Natalie thought he was staring at the bed because she had shared it with Brody. Although the idea repulsed him, he wasn't about to let it deter him from any decisions he had made. "It isn't that," John said. "It's Brody attacking you here. I came here afterward, when it was a crime scene. That's what I was thinking about."

"Great, so I brought the other thing up for no reason," Natalie said.

"I know you slept with Brody here," John said. "You know I slept with Kelly at my place. What's done is done."

"But not forgotten," Natalie said.

"I don't blame you for what you did," John said. "I thought it was the right thing myself. I thought you should be with Liam's father, and I was willing to sacrifice what I felt for you for that. I can't stand here now and act like it was a mistake for you to do that."

"It was a mistake," Natalie said.

"It was," John said, "but it was one we both made." He took off his jacket and set it on a chair. He wasn't sure how far to undress, as this wasn't about making love, though he had his doubts about it not leading to that. He watched appreciatively as Natalie stripped down to her green t-shirt and panties – and then did some contortion to remove her bra through on of her shirt's arm holes without removing the shirt. He followed her lead, leaving on his black t-shirt and briefs. "So, is this what a slumber party is like?" John asked.

Natalie smiled. "Not any I've ever been to," she said. She threw open the covers and crawled into bed.

John went around the other side. He wasn't feeling particularly tired; he did have some clear feelings but he didn't think they were going to help him rest. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea," he said.

Natalie laughed. "It'll be fine," she said. She turned on her side. "Just try to relax," she said.

"I'm not so sure that going to happen," John said.

"Just try," Natalie said.

"I don't think I want to," John said.

"We can mess around later," Natalie said sleepily.

John lay on his back. "Mess around?" he said.

"Yeah," Natalie said. "You know."

John laughed. "OK, sure," he said. "But only if you let me get to third base."

"You better do more than that," Natalie said.

John smiled and moved closer to her so that the length on his body was against hers. He put an arm around her, and she pressed against him. "I promise I'll do a lot more," he whispered into her hair.

John could feel Natalie's smile without seeing it. "Later," she said.


	4. Chapter 4

The In-Between Time: Part 4

By Morganperidot

1.

Lying on the bed in her room at Llanfair, John beside her and his arm wrapped around her, Natalie suddenly woke and realized that she was hungry. "John?" she said.

"Mmmhmmm?" John replied without moving.

Natalie smiled. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

"In what sense?" John asked playfully. He kissed her neck lightly.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" Natalie said. She turned to face him.

"You're feeling better?" John asked, concern showing in his beautiful eyes.

"I'm OK," Natalie said. She still had a hint of the headache she'd had since Brody threw her across the room and she hit her head on the bureau, but otherwise she felt all right.

John touched her face gently and kissed her lips tenderly. "Yeah?" he said.

"Yeah," Natalie said.

"I want you to know that you can tell me if there is something wrong," John said. "I want you to."

"I will," Natalie said. "I'm not feeling 100% right now, but I'm better. And I'm hungry."

John smiled. "OK," he said. "We can order a pizza or something."

"I thought we could make something," Natalie said.

"Make something?" John said. "Like cook?"

Natalie laughed. "I've heard that people do that sometimes," she said. She got off the bed and pulled on a pink robe over her t-shirt and undies. She looked at John where he was still lying under the bedclothes. "Are you coming?" she asked.

"I wouldn't want to miss your cooking," John said, getting off the bed.

"I didn't say I would be the one cooking," Natalie said. She picked up the baby monitor speaker to take it with her.

John pulled on his jeans beneath his black shirt. "I'm pretty sure Viki wouldn't want me trying to cook something in the Llanfair kitchen," he said.

"I don't think she would mind," Natalie said.

John glanced over at her. "Seriously?" he said.

"Unless you really don't want to," Natalie said.

John shrugged. "There's always my world-famous cheese sandwich," he said.

"I was hoping you would say that," Natalie said.

They checked on Liam, who was still sleeping, and then walked on bare feet down the stairs and through the house to the kitchen. Natalie set the baby monitor on a counter, and John went to the fridge. She admired his backside as he stood looking at the food, and realized that despite the remaining headache she still felt the best that she had in a long time. She had thought she was OK with Brody – not in love or truly happy but OK – but now she knew even that wasn't true. She had just refused to let herself accept how miserable she had really been without John. Life without him was always something less than what she needed. It wasn't that she couldn't survive without him; it was that she wasn't ever complete without him.

"So, which one of these did you want?" John asked holding up a couple of cheeses. "Brie or gorgonzola?"

"Ummm, maybe something else," Natalie said. She walked over to him, and reached into a drawer in the fridge to pull out a hunk of cheddar. "How about this?" she asked.

John slid his arms around her and kissed her. "How about this?" he asked.

Natalie tingled in response to the warm touch of his body. "After the sandwiches," she said with a smile.

"You must be really hungry," John said.

"Yep," Natalie said. She held out the cheese.

"So is this how it's going to be when you come home?" John asked. He didn't wait for an answer, just grabbed a loaf of bread off of the counter and went to the stove.

"Home?" Natalie said. John looked around until he found a knife and a plate and started cutting the cheese into slices. "John?"

John turned and tossed her the bread. "Could you butter a couple slices?"

"Are we going to talk?" Natalie said. She got the butter and spread some on the bread.

John turned and looked at her. "Are you planning on staying here?" he asked.

"What are you saying?" Natalie asked.

"Will you come back and live with me?" John asked.

Natalie smiled. "Yes," she said. She wanted more from him than that – she wanted the ring, and the wedding that went all the way through and made her his wife. She wanted a family, a house, and a future that wasn't going to get blown apart by some random stupidity. She wanted her happily ever after. But she could wait for it – for a little while anyway. She was silent while John made a sandwich in a pan on the stove, just moving aside to get a couple of beers from the fridge. John flipped the sandwich onto the plate she brought over and then cut it in half diagonally. He was about to start making another when Natalie said, "We can share this one."

"Are you sure that's enough for…"

"Yes," Natalie said.

John turned off the stove and set the pan and spatula aside. He followed Natalie over to the table where she set down the plate and the two beer bottles. "I've missed the late night snacks," John said. "It's not the same having them alone."

"Yeah," Natalie said. "Nothing is the same alone."

John smiled and took a slug of beer, and Natalie ate a bite out of one half of the sandwich. "Nice job," she said after swallowing.

"Thanks," John said. He said nothing more, just looked at the bottle he held.

Natalie could sense that John was waiting for her questions, and she had the feeling he wanted to answer them. That was a good place to be, and she let it go on for a moment longer before speaking. "Did they say at the clinics when they would have the results to you?" she asked.

"A couple days," John said. "I pushed the cop thing as hard as I could. It may be sooner."

Natalie noticed that he still didn't look at her. "You still don't think those results will tell us anything different?" she said.

"I don't know," John said. "It's certainly possible that something could have happened in the lab that had the first results, but for three paternity tests to be changed at the same time – Rex's, Jessica's, and ours – that's bordering on the highly unlikely."

"But not impossible," Natalie pressed gently.

John looked at her. "No, not impossible," he said. He picked up his half of the sandwich and took a bite.

"Do you think we can go back to how we were, as a family?" Natalie asked.

"I want to try," John said.

"And you and me…"

"I want that too," John said. "The wedding thing…we can't give up before the third try."

"I don't want you to feel…"

"I don't," John said.

"You may when you find out that Liam is your son," Natalie said. "It will shift things, things that you may not want shifted."

"What I've wanted hasn't changed," John said. "That's why this has always been so difficult. If Liam is my son, it makes things easier."

"It's just that Liam wasn't something that we planned to…"

"Liam was meant to be," John said. "He didn't need a special plan."

Natalie smiled. "How can you not know he's yours?" she asked.

"I did," John said, his voice even, without rebuke, and he didn't look away from her in the brief silence that followed.

"I'm sorry you got hurt," Natalie said. "But that was Marty's doing. If she hadn't changed the test results, none of the rest of it would have mattered. What happened with Brody was before you and I got back together. It shouldn't have been an issue."

"Except it still would have been," John said. "We all worked together. Something like that – you should have told me. I can understand that it was before we were together and you thought it was over between us, but I can't understand the secret once we were together."

"I don't know," Natalie said. "I guess I was worried about how you would react."

"I wish you had more faith in me then," John said.

"You haven't always been so supportive," Natalie said, immediately regretting the negativity of it. However, instead of trying to apologize and digging herself in deeper, she went back to eating the sandwich and waited for him to respond.

John finished his beer and set the bottle aside. "I've made plenty of mistakes," he said finally.

"We both have," Natalie said, "but I want to believe that I can have faith in you."

John glanced at her with that serious cop look in his eyes. "Maybe we should take a step back and…"

"No," Natalie said with certainty. "That I can't do. I've already taken too many steps backward and sideways and off the path that I've wanted to be on since the first time we kissed and I knew, just knew without a single doubt, that you and I were meant to be together. I can take a lot of crap, John, and I will go around it or over it or under it or through it if I have to. But I won't take any more steps back, not anymore. I am right here, and I am not going anywhere but forward."

Without a word John stood up and took the empty sandwich plate and beer bottles. He walked over to the garbage and dropped the bottles in, and then took the plate, knife, and pan and put them in the sink before cutting off another piece of cheese to eat and putting the rest away in the fridge. He put the cheese plate and knife in the sink. Natalie walked over to him. "You want to dry?" he asked.

Natalie picked up a towel. "Is this how it's going to be when I move back home?" she asked quietly.

John smiled. "I sure hope so," he said. He turned, took the towel out of her hands, and tossed it on the counter. "I think we've had enough personal drama for a while."

"A little drama isn't so bad," Natalie said. She wrapped her arms around John and pressed against him. He always felt so strong and so warm – and so right.

"Maybe a little," John said. He lifted her chin with his fingertips. "You are an amazing woman, Natalie," he said. "Beautiful, smart, tough. I love everything about you." He kissed her then, firmly and deeply, and every cell in her body responded to him. The kiss went on for quite some time, until John broke it off. "We need to do these dishes," he said.

Natalie laughed, but then she saw that he was serious. "Really?" she said.

"I'm not going to have Viki finding dirty dishes in the sink in the morning," John said. "She won't let me sleep over anymore." He turned away then, but Natalie saw his smile.

2.

John was at his desk at the police station a couple days later when the calls came in that the DNA tests were done. He had spent a lot of time with Natalie and Liam over the two-day period, and he briefly considered putting off picking up the results of the tests. Things had been going well again – really well – and he didn't like the idea of it all turning sour over those results. He didn't want to look at those sheets of paper and see confirmed without question that he wasn't Liam's father.

John got a cup of the awful police station coffee and leaned against the front of his desk while he drank it. He knew putting it off wouldn't make it any easier. If Brody was Liam's father, that was what it was. It wasn't going to change how he felt about Natalie and Liam; after all, it hadn't really changed his feelings the first time he had found out. It had hurt worse than anything in his life, but it hadn't changed how much he loved them.

John drew in a breath and released it, then crumpled the empty coffee cup and tossed it in the trash basket. OK, he thought. Let's do this. He picked up his cell phone off the desk and called Natalie. "Hey," she said.

"The test results are in," John said. "I'm going to go pick them up. Do you want to meet me at my place?" Things had been going well, but Natalie hadn't moved back in yet; they had decided to wait until they had the results from the tests and knew where they stood – not that Natalie seemed to have any doubts about what the results would be.

"OK, I'll bring the champagne," Natalie said.

John let that slide. "I'll see you soon," he said. "Tell Liam I miss him." John drove to the clinics and picked up the envelopes with the results. He wasn't tempted to open them; he just tossed them in the trunk of his car. It wasn't that he didn't want to know the results. It was just that he wanted to open them with Natalie beside him. He wanted this to be end of the paternity question once and for all.

When John arrived at his place the door was ajar. He pushed it in and found Natalie seated on the sofa. She stood and walked over to him, and for the millionth time he was amazed by how beautiful she was. She wore a teal blouse that plunged low and left little to his imagination. A pair of blue jeans hugged her lower body. She was smiling, and her eyes were shining. John looked down at the manila envelopes he held in his left hand. "So let's see them," Natalie said, reaching for the envelopes.

John moved them out of her reach, and instead walked over to his table, where he noted the appearance of a bottle of champagne and a box wrapped in blue paper, and tossed the envelopes on the table. "What's this?" he asked, pointing to the box.

"Something for later," Natalie said. She went over to him. "Come on, let's see what the results say."

John put his hands on her hips and gently turned her away from the table. "You think you can come here dressed like that and I'm just going to ignore it and do some light reading?" he said.

"That's for later too," Natalie said teasingly.

"I don't think so," John said softly, feeling the heat rising in his blood. The words on those papers could wait; what he felt in that moment couldn't. He moved his hands up to the buttons of her blouse and undid them, revealing the lacey black bra beneath. He pushed the sides of the blouse aside and drew her closer, kissing her soft, warm skin until her hands on back and in his hair pressed him closer.

"This isn't how this is supposed to go," Natalie said.

"This is exactly how this is supposed to go," John replied, before putting his hands on her face and kissing her deeply, plundering her mouth before moving on to her neck. Natalie's hands slid under his black shirt and then pulled it off over his head. "I've never wanted any woman more than you," John said.

"I love you," Natalie said, and John saw the bare truth of it, felt it move through him, fixing and filling him in all the spots that had been torn, broken, and emptied. He took her hand, but before they made it to the bedroom he pressed her up against the doorway, claiming her mouth again with his, the fire inside of him so strong that it was nearly blinding. They were undressed in record time, clothes flung every which way, and he was so hot that it felt like the room was engulfed in flames – maybe even the entire world – but it didn't matter, nothing mattered but her, the one who had always been his, the one who belonged with him the way no other could, the one who drove him over the edge until he was soaring above and beyond, straight into the sun and imploding, fragmenting, shattering, gasping for air, and falling, but not caring what came next.

There was silence for a while, and then Natalie said, "Wow."

"Yeah," John said. He smiled and touched her hair gently. "Do you want to join me in the shower?"

"Yeah," Natalie said with a smile of her own. "But after that you have to stop putting off looking at those test results."

"Yes, ma'am," John said.

So after the shower they sat together on the sofa with the two envelopes, each of them holding one. John looked at the one in his hands. "I want to say something first before we…"

"Stop stalling, McBain," Natalie said.

John laughed. "I'm not," he said. "I have something I want to say, and you are going to listen to it."

"Oh yeah?" Natalie said.

"Yeah," John said. He set the envelope aside and touched Natalie's face. He really didn't want to play this game with the envelopes; he just wanted to lie in bed with her and hold her and fall asleep and wake up with her there. "Whatever these tests say, it doesn't matter to me," John said. "I want you and Liam with me. I need you to come home. That's all that really matters."

Natalie leaned in and kissed him, and John moved closer to her. "We're coming home," she said. "I promise you that. But I need to see these results, and I think you need to see them too."

"You're sure that…"

"I'm sure," Natalie said. "Please, John."

John kissed her cheek softly. "OK," he said. "OK." He picked up the envelope. "We'll open them at the same time," he said.

"Yes," Natalie said. John had butterflies in his stomach like he hadn't had in forever, and he knew it was going to hurt like hell all over again to see that he and Liam weren't a match – this time in stereo. Natalie started counting down, "Five, four, three, two, one…" And both of them opened the envelopes and pulled out the papers inside. John fought to keep his hands from shaking as he looked down past the names and some scientific terminology and imagery that he didn't understand. He looked down at the bottom where the final result was printed clearly in black and white. He let out the breath he had been holding, closed his eyes, opened them, and looked at it again. DNA match, it said. Paternity confirmed to the ninetieth percentile with negligible margin of error.

John looked at Natalie. "This…"

"And this," Natalie said, laying her papers on top of his. The presentation of the data was different, but the end result was the same. DNA match. Paternity confirmed. Tears pricked the backs of John's eyes, and he blinked the blur that followed from his eyes. He set the papers aside and stood up, the emotions inside him so strong that he didn't know how to react to them. "John…"

"Give me a minute," John said, barely above a whisper. He closed his eyes again, and tried to get his brain to work.

John felt Natalie stand up beside him. "Isn't this what you want?" she asked in a small voice with an unsure tone that was so unlike her.

John opened his eyes and turned to look at her face, where the hurt was so evident in her eyes. He went to her and pulled her against him, close enough that he could bury his face in her hair and whispered into her ear a single word, "Yes."

"Liam's yours," Natalie said. She moved back and looked in his eyes. "Do you believe that now?" she asked.

"Yes," John said. "He's really my son." He smiled and wiped the wetness from his eyes. "Liam is my son," he said. He loved the sound of that as much as he loved her.

"We can open that champagne…"

"Not yet," John said. "I have something for you first." He went to his desk and took out the small box he had put in a drawer the day before. He walked over to her, took one hand in his, and went down on one knee.

He saw the surprise on Natalie's face. "John, what…"

"I want you to be my wife," John said. "I want you, me, and our son together as a family, officially, once and for all." He opened the box and showed her the ring, the new ring he had bought for just her and him and their family; it had a ruby surrounded by diamonds. "Natalie, will you marry me?" he asked.

There were tears in her eyes now. "Yes," Natalie said. "Of course I will."

John stood up and slid the ring onto her finger. "It's going to happen this time," he said. "You're going to be my wife."

"It's so beautiful," Natalie said, looking at the ring.

"You're beautiful," John said. He took her hand again. "Now let's go get our son," he said.


	5. Chapter 5

The In-Between Time: Part 5

by Morganperidot

1.

Natalie realized how much she really missed having Jessica and Gigi around when she was looking for a new wedding dress. She was still excited about John's proposal and the new ruby ring he had given her, but looking for the dress alone was still tinged with sadness. Her mother had offered to go with her, but that wasn't the same as being with her twin sister and her best friend. Natalie was still alienated from Jessica, and although she kept busy and tried not to think about, it still hurt every day to have that connection severed. And the same was true about Gigi; she was gone forever. As happy as Natalie was to be back with John and to have things finally settled as far as Liam's paternity was concerned, she missed her girlfriends, and that left a big hole in her otherwise joyous heart.

To look for a dress, Natalie went to a small bridal boutique on the outskirts of Llanview. She didn't want to go to one of the fancy, expensive shops that she had been to before with Jessica before their double wedding. There were all sorts of bad memories out there that Natalie didn't want to associate with her next wedding with John, and one of the main ones had to do with dress she wore at the wedding with Jessica and Brody – the one she had been wearing when she had told John about the one night stand with Brody and her life had been torn into a million pieces. She didn't want to see anything like that dress ever again.

For this wedding, she had decided that a white dress was no longer needed. She was thinking maybe ivory, something simple, a style that wouldn't call attention to her and call to mind the weddings that failed because of what happened with Brody and the lies that followed, both her lies and Marty's. This time she wanted a dress that would let her fade into the background, so things could just happen the way they normally did to people who lived normal lives, and she could have an uneventful wedding that went as planned from beginning to end. That was what she wanted from this wedding, nothing special, just that it be average, normal, and, finally, complete.

When Natalie entered the little bridal boutique, an older woman in a blue dress with short silver-gray hair walked over to her. "Hello," the woman said, with a smile that seemed genuine. "Welcome to my shop," she continued. "I'm Gina."

"Nice to meet you," Natalie said, gently grasping Gina's outstretched hand. "I'm Natalie."

"A pleasure," Gina said. There was a hint of Italian accent in her voice. "You are getting married?" she asked.

"Yes," Natalie said. "I'm looking for a dress. Something simple…"

"Something suitable," Gina corrected gently. "You are a beautiful woman, and certainly not a simple one."

"Thank you," Natalie said. She followed Gina to a room with overstuffed white chairs and polished wood tables.

"Have a seat," Gina said. "Would you like some tea?"

"I don't want to be a bother…"

"No worries," Gina said. "Sit and relax."

Natalie hesitated for a moment, but she finally chose one of the soft-looking chairs and sank down onto its cushion. "If you have herbal tea, I'd love a cup," she said.

"Certainly," Gina said. She picked up a stack of three-ring binders and brought them over to Natalie. "Take a look through these," she said. "Maybe you'll find something you like."

"I hope so," Natalie said, accepting the books. "Thanks." She glanced at her engagement ring and smiled, then opened one of the books and set the rest of them aside. She flipped through the pages and looked closely at the beautiful dresses, but none of them really caught her attention – not until she saw the dress on the last page of the third book.

It was quite a bit different than the others, like it had been stuck in the book as an afterthought. While the other dresses had been variations of white, ivory, and other off-white concoctions, this dress was clearly not in the same color scheme; it was a light coral or blush color, a warm color that intrigued her enough to give it a second look. It was a full-length dress with an off-shoulder style. She could see herself with her hair up, wearing a necklace with it, and a matching hat with a veil and high-heeled shoes…

"Did you find something you like?" Gina asked, setting a tea cup down on the table beside Natalie.

Natalie turned the book so Gina could see the dress she had been looking at. "This one…"

"Ah yes," Gina said. "That one would be perfect for you."

Natalie smiled. "Thank you," she said. "Would you have to order it or…"

"We will have it custom made," Gina said. "All I need is your measurements. When is the wedding?"

Good question, Natalie thought, and not an issue on which she and John had come to a real decision. "Soon," she said.

"That's fine," Gina said. She sat down on a chair near Natalie. "Try the tea and tell me what you think. It's a new blend."

Natalie took a sip of tea; it had a nice cinnamon taste with a bit of lemon, different but nice. "It's good, thank you," she said.

Gina was looking at the picture of the dress. "Yes, I can definitely see this," she said. "You'll look perfect." She looked at Natalie. "This isn't your first wedding," she said matter-of-factly.

"No," Natalie said.

"But this one is special," Gina said.

"Yes," Natalie said. She thought about John and smiled. "I've loved him for a long time," she said. "We've had a hard time coming to a place where it would really work, but we seem to have finally found it."

"That's a good place to be," Gina said.

"Yes," Natalie said. "It certainly is."

2.

After John had knocked on the door at Llanfair a few times, Viki opened it. "John," she said. "Natalie isn't here."

"I know," John said. "I came by to talk with someone else."

Viki stepped aside and let him walk in before closing the door. "Is anything wrong?" she asked. "Is this police business?"

"No," John said. "It's personal. I came here to speak to Jessica."

"So you came here to see me," Jessica said. John looked up and saw her walking down the stairs. She wore a blue blouse and tan pants. She looked more tired than John had remembered seeing her. "And what could you possibly want to talk to me about?"

"Your sister," John said.

"Would that be the twin sister who slept with the man I loved, lived with him, and drove him over the edge?" Jessica said.

Viki shook her head. "Jessie…"

"I don't know how you could take her back," Jessica continued, ignoring her mother's interjection. "She lied to you. She would have married you without ever telling you the truth."

"Yes, she lied," John said. "Or she thought she did."

"What does that mean?" Viki asked.

"It means that Liam really is my son," John said. "There was a question about the validity of the first test. I had two more independent DNA tests done and they proved that Liam is biologically mine not Brody's. Marty changed the results of the first test because she wanted to destroy my relationship with Natalie. And she didn't want Natalie to have my child."

"Oh, of course," Jessica said. "Everything works out for Natalie, and she gets what she wants again. But even if that is true, it doesn't erase the fact that she deliberately hid things from you that she never intended to tell you or that she sabotaged my life without a second thought…"

"I didn't come here to argue," John said.

"Then what did you expect?" Jessica asked. "Or should I say what did Natalie expect when she sent you here?"

"Natalie didn't send me," John said, and he fought to keep his anger under control. "But I know that the longer the two of you are at odds the more it hurts her…"

"Too bad for her," Jessica said. "At some point she has to reap what she sows." Jessica headed away from him toward the library.

John followed Jessica into the library. "You're right," he said. "Natalie lied to me, a huge web of lies, and she paid dearly for that. For a long time I thought that I would never be able to forgive her for that. But then I accepted the fact that I wanted to be with her more than I wanted to keep holding that grudge."

"I don't agree," Jessica said.

"Maybe you should," John said. "You know about loss. You should know better than to push your family away."

Jessica turned to face him, looking angrier than before. "Don't talk to me about loss," she said. "Natalie threw our relationship away," she said.

"Natalie made mistakes, like you and I both have," John said. "Are you going to cut yourself off from your twin sister forever? Think about your nephew. Think about your son…"

"Don't tell me what to think!" Jessica shouted. "You don't know how hard it is to be who I am –how I am – and have to go through what I've gone through! You think I should feel bad for Natalie? What compassion has she ever shown for me?"

John saw the depth of Jessica's pain, saw reflected in it the memory of his own agony after losing Liam and Natalie. And he knew that was something that she had to work through on her own. "You're right," he said. "I don't know about you. All I know about is Natalie and Liam, and I know that their lives are less because they don't have you in them. And I know Natalie loves you, whether you want to believe that or not." He turned and walked out of the library. When he saw Viki sitting on the bench by the staircase, he walked over to her. "I'm sorry about that," he said.

"They're both so stubborn," Viki said. "I guess they get that from me."

"Among other wonderful traits," John said.

Viki stood up. "I'm so glad Liam is your son, John" she said. She surprised him by giving him a hug.

"I am too," John said.

3.

"So I told you it would all work out with Johnny boy, didn't I?" Roxy said, her orange outfit giving Natalie a headache. She had just arrived back at John's apartment – their place again – and was relieving Roxy of her babysitting duties.

Natalie held her son – her son with John – close to her. "Yes, you did," she said. "So go ahead and say it."

"Told ya so," Roxy said with a laugh. "Bye, Liam." She waved as she left.

Natalie closed the door and bounced Liam in her arms as she walked over to the fridge. "Mommy is starving, sweetie," she said. "Should we make something for Daddy?" Natalie knew how to cook a few things, but none of them all that well. John was a much better cook; he had the patience for it that she didn't have. Natalie pulled open the fridge door. There was some old pizza and several containers of various types of leftovers from Chinese food to Greek. None of it looked appealing to her. "Maybe we should order something new?" she asked Liam. He just looked at her and smiled. "OK, how about Mexican?" she asked. She shut the fridge door and picked up her purse, digging in it with one hand while holding Liam with the other arm. She punched the speed dial button for the Mexican place and ordered guacamole and chips, nachos, quesadillas, burritos…enough food for the entire Llanview police department. But hey, she was hungry, and John would be too.

Liam started squirming in her arms, and Natalie knew he was getting tired. So she went to his bed and laid him down, and a few minutes later his little eyes were closed. Natalie sighed and picked up her phone again, this time taking it over to the sofa. She texted John: "Got Mexican. Come home." As she was scanning her emails she got a message back: "On my way." Natalie was eager to see John, talk to him, eat with him…and spend the night beside him. She relaxed back against the sofa and smiled at that thought. There was nothing in the world like John's touch in the darkness, and there never had been. She sighed again, anxious for the food, and for John.

There was a knock at the door, and Natalie got up. It was a little early for the food to be there, but she wasn't going to complain about that. She went to the door and opened it – and saw her sister standing there in the hallway. For a terrible moment Natalie was terrified that she was looking at Tess who had come to hurt her or Liam. "Jessica?" she said. "What are you doing here? Are Mom and Dad OK?"

"Everyone is fine," Jessica said. "Can I come in?"

Natalie hesitated a moment, but then she stepped aside. Jessica walked into the place and looked around a bit before walking over to where Liam was sleeping. Natalie followed her. "I came to see my nephew," she said, leaning down and looking at Liam.

"I didn't think you were interested in seeing either of us," Natalie said.

Jessica glanced at her. "I haven't been," she said. "But it may be time for me to reconsider." She straightened up. "I don't want to hate you, Natalie," she said. "But I have, and it's become easier for me to feel that than anything else. I don't know when or if I could ever forgive you."

"I know I hurt you," Natalie said. "I didn't mean to do that. I never wanted any of this to come between us. It just got so out of control…"

"It's a complicated situation," Jessica said. "But it's something we should try to fix, at least for our children."

"I want you to be part of Liam's life," Natalie said.

"I want Ryder to know his cousin," Jessica said.

Natalie understood that Jessica's response wasn't equivalent to what she had said, but she let that go. At least Jessica was talking to her reasonably, which hadn't been the case for a long time. That was a start. "I want that too," she said. There was another knock at the door, and this time it had to be the food. Natalie excused herself and grabbed her purse. She took care of the transaction and dumped the huge load of food on the small table she had recently bought. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked Jessica. "We have plenty."

"Looks that way," Jessica said, with the hint of what was almost a smile on her lips. "No, I have to get back to Ryder." She went to the door, then turned. "Maybe we could talk later this week?" she said.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Natalie said.

"OK," Jessica said. When she turned to go, John appeared in the doorway. "Hi," Jessica said, and then she walked past him into the hallway.

"Hi," John said. He closed the door and glanced at Natalie. "I guess she didn't want to stay for dinner?" he said.

"No," Natalie said. "I was surprised she was here at all." She watched as John got some plates and silverware for the food and grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge. "You don't seem surprised," she said finally, as he brought those things over to the table.

"I might have had something to do with that," John said. He started opening some of the food containers.

"Might have or did?" Natalie asked.

John glanced at her. "Are you interrogating me?" he asked.

"Should you be interrogated?" Natalie asked.

John smiled and walked over, stopping very close to her. "What if I won't talk?" he asked.

Natalie put her arms around him and placed her hands on his back. "Then I might have to use other methods," she said.

"Talking has never been my top skill," John said. He put his hands on her face and brought his lips to hers in a soft kiss that blossomed into something deeper and more passionate. Natalie closed her eyes and dissolved into it, not really caring about any interaction he might have had with Jessica. But then her stomach grumbled, and she did think about something else.

"Very romantic," John said.

"Sorry, but I'm starving," Natalie said. "Do you mind if we eat first?"

"No, I like eating too," John said.

Natalie smiled. "That's why I got enough food for five people," she said.

"Looks more like ten," John said.

"OK, so I like a lot of variety," Natalie said. She took his hand and led him over to the feast. "Let's get some energy," she said.

Over dinner she told John about her experience at the bridal boutique and the dress she had picked out, and he told her about his visit to Llanfair. It was nice and comfortable between them, like she hadn't expected it to ever be again. All of the food and the beer made her a little sleepy, so after dinner and seeing to Liam's needs, Natalie was ready to just go to sleep and save the after dinner activities for another day.

She went into the bedroom and started to undress, throwing her shirt and jeans in a pile on the floor. John followed her example, throwing his black outfit for the day in pile with her clothes. "You know…" she started, before John pulled her into his arms.

"Yes," he whispered softly into the hair by her ear. "I do." Her body responded with low-grade tremor – and a surge of adrenaline. As they made their way to the bed Natalie had no doubts that it was sleeping that could wait.


	6. Chapter 6

The In-Between Time: Part 6

By Morganperidot

1.

The night before their wedding, Natalie was in bed with John, lying against him with his arms around her. She could hear his heart beat and feel his breathing; everything about him felt warm and safe. They weren't talking, but she sensed he wasn't asleep yet. She wondered whether he had any second thoughts about getting married, but she didn't want to ask him that. She was overjoyed by how well things had been going between them and with Liam, but at the same time that terrified her. She didn't think they would survive another interrupted wedding or unexpected bombshell – not that she could think of any reason those things would come to pass again. The problem was that part of her was afraid that their happily ever after would never really happen and she would never be John's wife, because she had tried so many times before, and it had always fallen through.

"Is everything OK?" John asked softly as he touched her hair with his fingertips.

"Fine," Natalie said, but then she reconsidered. "Just a little nervous, I guess."

"Not cold feet, I hope," John said.

Natalie shifted so she could see his face. "No," she said. "Of course not."

"Then what?" John asked.

"It's just that something has always happened to ruin things…"

"And you think that will happen again," John said.

"I hope not…"

"It won't," John said. He moved closer to kiss her, his strong, steady hand pressing against her back. "Not this time," he said. "This time we are going to be pronounced man and wife. You are going be Natalie McBain."

Natalie smiled. "That sounds really good," she said.

"Yeah, it does," John said.

"You're sure that this…"

"Yes," John said. "This is absolutely what I want."

"Me too," Natalie said.

"Then nothing can go wrong this time, and nothing will," John said. "You're going to be my wife and we are going to be a family with our son. This is happening."

"Finally," Natalie said.

"Yeah," John said. "Finally. It's taken too damn long, and too much time has been wasted. It's finally time for things to work out for us."

Natalie smiled. "I love you," she said.

"I love you," John said, and he pulled her back into his embrace. "This time is forever," he said.

2.

The next day John was at home putting on his tuxedo while Natalie got dressed at the chapel. He didn't believe in the idea that it was bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding, but he understood that Natalie didn't want to tempt fate. She hadn't told him much about the dress other than that it was different from the other ones. It didn't really matter to him, as long as she was happy with it, which seemed to be the case. He knew she would look gorgeous walking down that aisle no matter what she wore.

John, on the other hand, was less confident in his appearance. His hair was a mess, and he looked worn and tired. It wasn't a bad tired though. They had been working hard on a number of cases, and then waking up sporadically in the middle of the night to take care of Liam. Both ends of the candle were burning pretty steadily, but that was OK. He was happy with it. He combed his hair and tried look a bit more presentable.

When John walked out of the bedroom he looked over at Liam's empty bed; Natalie had taken him with her to the chapel. John stood there for a moment and thought about how nice and normal it was to have the two of them together with their child – his child – the way it was always meant to be. Having a child with Natalie was something he had dreamed of but never really expected to happen. Now that it had, it felt absolutely right.

His phone rang, and John picked it up and glanced at the caller ID screen. "Hey, Mike, what's up?" he said. It was great to have his brother back in town, even if it was only for a few days for the wedding.

"Well, in case you forgot, you're getting married in an hour," Mike said.

"I seem to remember something like that," John said.

"When are you planning on getting over here?" Mike said. "Nat's going to kill you if you're late."

"I'm on my way," John said. "Everything is going to be fine."

"That's good, because the lady deserves it," Mike said.

"Yeah," John said. "I know."

3.

Natalie stood in front of a mirror in the small back room of the chapel. The blush coral dress looked good on her and fit well; Gina had done a good job with that. Natalie wore her long red hair up and a matching hat with a veil. Her parents had given her a gold chain with a large ruby pendant to wear above the off-shoulder top of the dress. Viki helped her put it on, then hugged her gently. "You are so beautiful," she said.

"Thanks, Mom," Natalie said. "Is Dad here yet?" She wanted to ask about John, but she didn't want to seem anxious about his arrival.

"Yes, he's out there making sure everything is under control," Viki said.

"The reception…"

"It's all set, sweetheart," Viki said. "You don't have to worry about anything. This day is just for you and John and your happiness."

"Thanks," Natalie said. She turned and looked at Viki. "Did you see Jessica today?" she asked.

"Yes," Viki said. "She knows about the wedding."

"Do you think she'll come?" Natalie asked.

Viki sighed. "I don't know," she said. "I think she's trying, but she's still having a hard time with things. She's still so unhappy."

"I know," Natalie said. "I wish there was something I could do. We've talked a couple times, but she doesn't really open up to me anymore. I wish I could still reach her the way I used to."

"She'll find a way to pull through this and rebuild her life the way you did," Viki said.

"I hope so," Natalie said. "I miss who she used to be."

Viki's phone buzzed, and she looked at it. "Your father needs help with something," she said. "Do you mind if I leave for a few minutes?"

"No, that's fine," Natalie said. "If you see Roxy, tell her to come in with Liam, OK? I'd like to see him before I go down the aisle."

"Of course," Viki said, before leaving the room.

Natalie turned back to the mirror. It was then that her own phone buzzed, and she took it out and looked at the text message that had come in. It was from John: See you soon. Love you.

Love you too, she texted back.

The door to the room opened then, and Natalie turned, expecting to see Roxy. She was surprised to see Jessica walk into the room and shut the door. She wore a long teal dress and her hair was pulled back in a matching headband. There was a necklace of aquamarine stones around her neck. "Jess," Natalie said. "I'm so glad you came."

"You look amazing," Jessica said.

"Thank you," Natalie said. "I'm happy that you're here." She walked over to her sister, and they hugged quickly and somewhat awkwardly. "You look good," she said.

"This old thing?" Jessica said. She almost smiled. "I thought I should get something nice for the special occasion."

"I wish that you were getting married too," Natalie said.

"We tried that," Jessica said. "This is your day." She opened her purse and took out a box. "You have the new gift from Mom and Dad, so I have the old, borrowed, and blue." She opened the box and revealed a bracelet with turquoise stones.

"It's gorgeous, Jess," Natalie said. "Didn't Nash give you this?"

"Well, technically he gave it to Tess when they lived in Napa," Jessica said. "But I wore it when he and I were together. It was always one of my favorites. I want you wear it today."

Natalie's heart swelled. "I don't know what to say," she said. "That is so sweet of you." She held out her right arm, and Jessica clasped the bracelet around her wrist.

"Nash and I, we didn't have very long together, and we had a lot of things to overcome," Jessica said. "But when we were happy, those were the best days of my life. I hope you have that with John."

Natalie's eyes filled with tears, and she swept her sister into her arms for a longer hug. "Thank you so much," she said. "That means the world to me."

"I'll see you inside," Jessica said, and she left the room. A moment later Roxy arrived with Liam, and Natalie held her son close, thrilled that everything was finally right in the world.

4.

John stood at the front end of the chapel's short aisle, waiting for Natalie, who would walk down that aisle to him alone. The few rows of pews were filled with close friends and family, the people who had watched on the periphery as his love story with Natalie had unfolded over years and through as many lows as there were highs, as well as other relationships, and into what had seemed like insurmountable agony when he had learned the lie that Liam wasn't his. He had let her go and taken her back so many times in those years, unable to shake the bond between them, but there had never been an undeniably right time for them until now. John glanced at Liam who was now being held by his aunt Jessica and smiled.

Then the wedding march started, and John looked down the aisle where the doors opened and Natalie emerged into the doorway. For a moment his breath stopped. She had looked beautiful in the other weddings – and every day that he saw her – but somehow her beauty was even more radiant standing there on that day. He felt his heart start pounding as she started toward him, a smile on her soft lips. And then he was breaking protocol and all sorts of traditional wedding rules by walking down the aisle to meet her, taking her in his arms, and kissing her right in front of everyone. Then he took her hand and walked with her to the end of the aisle.

They had decided against the formal vows and even against really thinking too much about the vows at all. They had wanted to speak about what they felt in that moment, but when it came, John wasn't really sure if he could speak at all. It was like he was standing there looking to the brilliant eyes of a goddess, and he suddenly didn't feel worthy. But then she took his hands in hers and smiled, and she was his Natalie again, the one he drank beer with on the roof of their building. "You've been the most important part of my life for a long time," John said. "Even when we weren't together, you were with me, and part of me still loved you. Somehow I always knew that this day would come, the right day, and we would finally go home together as husband and wife."

Natalie spoke her vows softly in return, their hands still entwined. "The love I have felt for you has been sweeter than any other in my life," she said. "When I look at you I still get butterflies because I can't believe that you are really mine. I am so happy that you are and that we have a son now to share our lives with. We have a family and a shared love that will last forever."

They exchanged rings and were pronounced man and wife, before being introduced to the assembled guests as "John and Natalie McBain". And then John passionately kissed his bride, holding her close and knowing that he would never let her go again.


End file.
